Ah! Oh no! It's the people with green hats!

This is written in newspaper format so if you don't get it then too bad jk lol

THE LITTLE DUDE WITH THE GREEN HAT! OH NO!
BY: bEllaUbetTERlove

Today was a tragic day, we have what we dread most: A LITTE DUDE WITH A GREEN HAT! For all of you who do not know what a little dude with a green hat could me, let me explain, a little dude with a green hat could mean the death of kansas, and possibly somewhere near the himalayaias. The leader of the little people with green hats has recently killed our beloved rebel I-don't-know-who-this-guy-is. I-don't-know-who-this-guy-is was a wonderful rebel, here to say a few words are Bella Swan and her boyfriend/husband Edward Cullen.
Bella: I just wanted to say I-don't-know-who-this-guy-is was such a wonderful man full of good advice, he was the one who pushed me off the cliff, and Edward rescued me, it was our 5,987 meeting and it was worth while.
Edward: ... can we go back to our house, Bella? Please?
Volturi: Not so fast Cullens!
Edward: The Volturi? What the hell are you doing here? bellaUbetTerlove explain this?
bellaUbetTerlove? hello? Quickly Bella! I'll protect you!
Bella: Lets go! Grabs Edward and both dash away
Volturi: I just wanted to ask you if you could open my mustard! Wimps!
Romeo: Never fear! The brave Romeo is here!
Volturi: Romeo? Your dead... no your supposed to have died like waht a thousand years ago! What the hell are you doing living?
Romeo: My Juliet! My fair Juliet! Alas where is she?
Lighing McQueen: Uh,. dude she like died after she thought you were dead, heres your own book.
Romeo: What is this? A talking carriage? What a strange one! A book about us? Alas my Juliet is dead! I die too! Who wrote this? It's horrible!
Shakespere: Hey dude do you know how hard I worked to write that crap? You should be thanking me I'm the guy who made you alive! Thanks McQueen I owe you.
Lighting McQueen: Eh, no I'm good, just gotta find my Sally excuse me.
Harry Potter: Wait! Romeo! I need your help!
Romeo: If your trying to find Juliet she's dead.
Harry Potter: ... no, I just needed you to help me find Bella and Edward they owe me money and also the Volturi they have my mustand.
Volturi slowly walk away holding the mustrad jar.
Harry Potter: Hey gimme back my mustard!
Shakespere: Well, back to the graveyard! See you around McQueen!
Lighting McQueen: Off to get Sally then! See you Shakespere!
Romeo: I'm all alone....
Juliet: No your not my Romeo!
A shark pops up and eats Juliet.
Romeo: Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
Will Harry Potter ever get his mustard? Will Shakespere ever find his grave? Hey! I'm already in it! Will Romeo ever find Juliet, will Bella and Edward ever pay back Harry? Stay tuned for another exciting episode of.... JUST BEING WACKY!